FOOD FOR ALL!!! open letter to Reese and YOU...

Dear Reese and consumers,

Damn, eating can be cumbersome!!! If you agree, then read on. I'm so sick of having
to make so many choices just to survive! I mean, I already made the choice TO survive.
Why should HOW be such a chore?

If this is you:

YOU: "Hi. I have decided that I would like to live for a while..."
GROCER: "Oh, that's soooo great for you! Eating is a good survival technique!"
YOU: "Really?! Oh, good! I'll do that then! Hand me a food!"
GROCER: "Okle dokle! Which food would you like?..."
YOU: "DEAR GOD!!! THERE'S MORE THAN ONE?!?... I CAN'T TAKE IT!!AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHH!"

.... Then I have a solution for you! That's right! No more choosing needed! Let's put those horrible days behind us, shall we?

I sometimes walk down aisles at the grocery store that I have no interest in. One such
aisle contains pet products. Rawhide chews, squeak toys, leashes... Hmmmm, I suddenly have an interest in all of those things. Let me rephrase:

I sometimes walk down useful aisles of intrigue and whimsy, and not take much notice
in what people feed their pets. They have a wonderful system for most pets that I never gave much thought. ONE FOOD! ALMOST ALWAYS! HOW SIMPLE IS THAT? VERY!!!
I wanted to adopt this method for humans as well.

Most pets are fed one bag or box of roundish food balls that seem to have 2 main colors, and that's what the pet eats pretty much it's whole life!
I LOVE THIS!!! But there is problem... OR IS THERE?!

I thought to myself, "If only we had a bag or box of people food balls that have two main colors and we can just fill our bowls with until we eat them all, then buy more
of that same food. We could simplify our whole lives!"

Then, I passed such a food. I can't believe it was all so easy! WE ALREADY HAVE IT!
It's Reese Puffs!!! Holy shit! They should have marketed this better!








Naturally, I can't let them just have this product out there. I've taken it upon myself to help:

"Reese Puffs. Why choose, when you could just live?... : )"

"Does decision making suck the joy out of life? Forget about it! Reese Puffs."

"Reese Puffs. Because you've got a lot of living to do!"

"Reese Puffs. Pro-Life!"

*Reese is welcome to email me at bewbzy@gmail.com to send me money to use my slogans. You're welcome.

-bewbzy-