no service charge for crack/names don't mean anything/funny or not?

If you are my Mom, or easily offended for other reasons, don't read any further!

No service charge for crack cocaine:

So, from what I hear on the street, cocaine is a rather
expensive habit. Good enough reason for me not to
get hooked on it. Then there's crack. Well, I'm not hooked
on that either, though the reason is different. I've met
people who are hooked on crack, and it's not a pretty
picture. Crack however, is really cheap. This boggles
my mind. Crack is cooked cocaine... Don't we charge
for service any more? Shouldn't crack be more expensive?
I'm gonna go to McDonald's and buy a raw hamburger and
a cooked hamburger and see if they charge me more
for the uncooked one...


Names Don't Mean Shit:

I was walking uptown from the hideous, horrible mall one day, and
I passed a place called "Gentle Touch Pet Grooming", and thought
to myself "Well, I guess if I had a pet, and was too lazy to groom it,
that sounds like a safe place to go...." and continued walking.
A few minutes later, something came to me. Just because they
call it 'gentle', doesn't mean it is. Anyone could have a daughter,
and name her "Chastity", and she could still later become a
total slut. Names don't mean shit.

Inappropriate, or funny?:
This was a long time ago, but it still makes me smile.

I was once asked what I was doing tonight, and I said "My counterpart is picking me
up after work, and we might go to O'Leary's for a bit..."
one of my work pals here says, "Counterpart? That's not very nice."
I responded (in my whiniest Luke Skywalker voice), "Carbon scoring all over my droid."
And I got the most disgusted look you could imagine. Your opinion?...

-bewbzy-